🪩 BABES ON THE FLOOR: Dalston Supersquare

Reason #167 why I need stamina. I had too many excuses for leaving fairly early yesterday. “Twelve quid for jerk chicken!” “My business cards haven’t arrived and I’d have to take pics with little explanation!” “I want the leftover tiramisu in the fridge!”.

Because Dalston Supersquare was a great event, if a little predictable. In fact, another excuse is forming: “I saw what I needed to see!”

In the most “the sky is blue” sentence ever spoken, a lot of people were there, and crowds gradually filled up as time went on. In fact, many people were being turned down due to lack of ticket (and/or time spent living on this planet). Those who did pass the gauntlet included Shayshay, Chiyo, Rodent and Envy, all travelling in a pack, as well as Max Allen’s partner who I thought actually was Max Allen.

When it came to those associated with the Soho Theatre comedy course, lovely assistant Joy Less was there, confiding in me about how soul-sucking comedy is. Fellow course apostate Simbyosis was also there, even though I didn’t really speak to them because they wanted a drink/seemed to be mindful of their own (and their friends’) business. I wonder if their paths crossed; I did notify Sim that Joy was there…

Musically, nothing was too meh. I think Mark-Ashley Dupé started my day off; his playlist was very bounce-focused, with songs like Tyla’s ‘Water’, Rihanna’s ‘Rude Boy’, a mashup of ‘Break My Soul’ and ‘My Humps’, and this. Harry Hill unfortunately did not show up.

But then came Dan Beaumont, to play a bunch of early-90s house and transport us to a facsimile of the year 1992 that could only be dreamt by those who were but a twinkle in 1992. Stuff like Maste– I mean, “River Ocean”’s ‘Love and Happiness’, and Inner City’s ‘Pennies From Heaven’. Just wonderful.

(Also, goodness how well these pics have turned out! I’m using a shite Panasonic from 2010 which cost me £50 and only records 720p video. Guess it’s the Leica lens…)

But I digress. During Beaumont’s set, out came the gogo dancers – Wet Mess, Cherry-Monroe (who for the longest time I thought was Cherry Auhoni whenever they were billed on a poster), Bobby Harding and a barely recognisable NaDiva, with a blonde wig and sunglasses concealing her true identity, if it wasn’t for the cloud of Tom Ford perfume she was wearing and the fact A Man To Pet was flocking around her. Busted!

The only reason I’m ranking this party four stars, instead of the full five, is because I’m spoiled. I was expecting a little bit more from this event. Apparently Ms Sharon Le Grand did some of her 80s fromage-pop covers later on that day; I love Shazza to bits, but I feel like the bill needed another pop-up show or two.

Still, it was great fun, especially for those who mostly care about the music/have decent attention spans. I feel like my critiques of the event are actually critiques of myself and my need for safe people to party with and never be drained by.

The Hoopla review next week is gonna be BUMPER.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐